Not Just Another Holiday
by crematosis
Summary: Ed discovers that today is a very special holiday...especially in the eyes of Roy Mustang. But exactly why does that make him want to strangle Roy? RoyEd


A/N: Just a very stupid little idea…I made up my own little holiday…yay! But that's probably the only thing I wrote properly…I'm pretty new at this whole…fandom or whatever you call…well, I'm new to FMA. There we go. Please, correct me if you see anything wrong. I want to learn from my mistakes. But please don't scream at me, "OMG, HOW COULD YOU MESS THAT UP?" I really don't know any better…but if you would tell me what I did wrong, it'll keep me from doing it wrong the next time. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Roy, Riza, or various other random people…I just own a holiday. But I'm sure if my friend Ashley had anything to do with it, Roy and Ed would be together in the anime…and this fic would be a lot more graphic. Haha, fat chance.

Roy Mustang sat in his office and waited, waited for a certain blonde alchemist to walk in the door. A card was propped up on his desk, just waiting for Edward Elric to walk in the door and notice.

Almost as if on cue, Ed barged into the room and slammed a piece of paper down on Roy's desk. "Here's my report, Mustang. I can't believe you dragged me out into the middle of nowhere for something so pointless!"

Ed stopped fuming and frowned, noticing Roy's broad, mischievous smirk. He put his hands on his hips. "What the hell are you up to?" he demanded.

"Oh, nothing," Roy said off-handedly, his smirk growing wider. He shuffled papers around on his desk casually.

Ed's gaze drifted to what Roy was doing and he immediately noticed the brightly colored card proclaiming in bold letters: Carry Your Sub to the Park Day.

"Hell no," Ed growled. "That's not going to happen. It's impossible."

Roy lifted an eyebrow. "Why not? I could easily carry you. I'm bigger than you after all."

Ed twitched in anger. "Who are you calling the shortest person in existence?" he shouted.

Roy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ed, I'm sure there are people out there that are shorter than you."

Ed blinked. How could this be happening? Was Roy actually being nice for a change?

"But," Roy continued, "Most of those people are kindergarteners."

"Damn you-" Ed began, but Roy cut him off.

"Alright, Ed. Let's stop right here. I'm sure you're taller than somebody, but that somebody isn't me. Now, this is an official holiday so you have to celebrate it."

Ed eyed him warily. "Yeah right. I bet you just made it up so you can have your twisted version of fun for a day."

Roy smirked. "Would you like to ask Hawkeye about that?"

"I don't care if she says it's an official holiday or not," Ed retorted. "I won't do it."

"Today is an important holiday and you must celebrate it. That's an order," Riza Hawkeye said crisply, coming up beside Ed.

"Colonel Flamey's order?" Ed demanded crossly.

Roy snorted. "Wow, Ed, you're actually getting creative for once."

"Shut up, bastard," Ed growled.

"Whose order it is doesn't matter," Hawkeye said calmly. "The only thing that matters is whether it's worth your death."

She clicked off the safety on her gun and Ed practically threw himself into Roy's arms. "Alright, geez…don't shoot."

Roy grinned. "Thank you, Hawkeye."

Riza nodded and turned towards the office door. "I better find you both at the park later today," she said warningly.

"Yeah, yeah," Ed grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as Riza left the room.

Roy laughed. "I should think this would be fun for you, Ed. You don't have to use your short little legs to walk anywhere."

"Don't make me crack open your skull with my automail," Ed hissed.

Roy sighed. "Killing a superior officer isn't a very good idea. It'll get you in a lot of trouble."

"It would be your fault," Ed said mutinously. "Working with you is enough to drive anyone to murder."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Come on, Ed. It's a holiday. You're supposed to enjoy yourself."

"How can I enjoy myself when this is so embarrassing?" Ed snapped.

"You're saying it's embarrassing to be seen with me?"

"I'm saying that it's embarrassing not to be able to walk on my own! Damn it, put me down!"

"Remember what Hawkeye said," Roy warned.

Ed blinked. "You think she'll follow us to to make sure the holiday is enforced?"

Roy nodded. "Absolutely."

"Damn you, Roy," Ed growled, putting both hands around Roy's neck. "Why'd you have to go and make this a holiday?"

"What did I tell you about killing your commanding officer?" Roy gasped out.

"Answer me, bastard!" Ed shouted.

"I didn't do it! It's been a holiday for years."

Ed loosened his grip slightly. "Alright, then how come I've never heard about it until now?"

"You were never in a relationship with anybody before."

Ed sighed. "Fine, I give up. Carry me into Central Park. Let's get the embarrassment over with. But as soon as we get there, you have to set me down. Alright?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"And don't you dare drop me or I'll have Riza shoot you!"

Roy laughed. "Don't worry. I won't."

"And you owe me big time for this, bastard! As soon as-"

"Hang on a minute," Roy said. "I seem to recall something…something about you being the sub."

"Shut up!" Ed screeched, kicking at Roy. "Put me down now! This calls for immediate payback! I'm going to kill you!"

Roy just laughed and pushed through the door.


End file.
